BEST SELLER*
01 / THE CLASSIC
The Classic Oak
Traditional craftsmanship meets sudden, irreversible downward movement.
Solid-ish oakManual drop
✳ THE FLOOR IS YOUR LOBSTER
There's a whole world beneath your feet.
Looking for the perfect way to make a dramatic exit? Compare the nation's finest trapdoors, from the discreet to the deeply unnecessary.
▶ See where the madness began Sean Lock on 8 Out of 10 Cats · February 2010
Trusted by almost nobodyAnd that's a promise we can keep.
100%
FLOOR-BASED
FLOOR-BASED
↘ THE CLASSIC OAK
Our top opening.
Our top opening.
AS SEEN ON ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECTABLE HOME IMPROVEMENT SHOWSCROLL TO DESCEND ↓
THE IDEA THAT STARTED IT ALL
A website nobody asked for.
Back in February 2010, on 8 Out of 10 Cats, Sean Lock casually imagined a website where you could look at different trapdoors and decide which was best to buy. We thought it was high time somebody took the idea far too seriously.
▶ Watch Sean explain the idea Official Jimmy Carr YouTube clip · linked to the relevant moment · opens in a new tabTHE DROP COLLECTION · 2026
ALL PRICES COMPLETELY MADE UP ↘Find your perfect fall.
Every home deserves a little suspense. Browse our rigorously untested favourites.
FOR THE DISCERNING VILLAIN
02 / THE EXECUTIVE
The Executive Drop
For when pressing a red button simply isn't dramatic enough.
Mahogany finishRemote* release
BUDGET PICK
03 / THE ECONOMY
The Budget Plunge
It's a hole. It's got a lid. What more could you reasonably ask for?
Reclaimed plywoodGravity included
*None of these trapdoors exist. Neither does the remote. Please don't install a hole in your house because of this website.
Why settle for an ordinary door when you could have one that opens in the wrong direction?— THE TRAPDOOR SUPERMARKET PHILOSOPHY
SIDE BY SIDE. THEN STRAIGHT DOWN.
The great trap-off.
All the specifications you didn't know you didn't need.
| THE ESSENTIALS | CLASSIC OAK | EXECUTIVE DROP | BUDGET PLUNGE |
|---|---|---|---|
| Satisfying creak | Excellent | Optional extra | Constant |
| Dramatic potential | ★★★★☆ | ★★★★★ | ★★★☆☆ |
| Secret lair compatible | ✓ | ✓ | Probably |
| Chance of finding a basement | Unclear | Unclear | Unclear |
| Gravity | Included | Included | Included |
| Imaginary price | £149.99 | £899.00 | £19.95 |
SIMPLE AS ONE, TWO, WHEEEEE
How does it work?
01
Browse the hatches
Peruse our expertly curated collection of imaginary floor-based exits.
02
Compare the holes
Weigh up critical factors such as wood finish, creak volume and villain suitability.
03
Make the leap
Feel satisfied you have made an informed, entirely pointless comparison.
THE PANEL HAS SPOKEN*
Don't just take our word.
Expert opinions from people who definitely haven't reviewed any of these products.
★★★★★
“I've done the calculations. It's definitely a door, but on the floor.”
★★★★★
“It's like a regular door, except the surprise is underneath you. I'd watch that for an hour.”
★★★★☆
“I asked for a downstairs toilet. This isn't quite what I had in mind.”
★★★★★
“A charmingly sinister addition to any underground headquarters.”
★★★☆☆
“Finally, a comparison website where the market really is going down.”
★★★★★
“Compare trapdoors. Decide which one is the best. That's the internet sorted.”
*All reviews are fictional parody written for this website. None are genuine quotations, endorsements or statements by the named people. Inspired by Sean Lock's original trapdoor comparison website joke on 8 Out of 10 Cats ↗.